Polyvore: The Win-Win in Multimedia Authorship (Draft)
The most successful part of my draft? I would say the intro is very strong and my description of the relationship between users, businesses and the web page addresses the strengths of this harmonious multimedia authorship. I ran into a weak spot while trying to get my draft to transition into copyright law and how Polyvore fit into that as well as contrasting Polyvore with negative websites. I feel like I'm just writing a description of each website I've Diigo'ed and relating it to Polyvore rather than extending applicability right now.
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Sarah Beth, here is my initial impression:
ReplyDeleteI'm confused by your description of the Cancer website. Does a contributor post through Twitter or directly through the website? Can anyone contribute? This was the only part that I struggled with, and I would suggest that you label what type of multimedia authorship this is as well as how it relates to the original Polyvore site. As of right now, I can't see how they're related. Overall though, I agree with you that you have a very strong base introduction.
My overall impression of your draft is that you have a good start with a really interesting topic. You begin it by explaining how you're going to relate Polyvore to business and legislation. Then you transition to explain about Polyvore, which you do very well. Having never been on Polyvore, I can understand exactly how the site works after your description.
ReplyDeleteI feel like your last sentence sort of just hangs, not being connected to the paragraph above. If you're having trouble getting them to apply, maybe explain them all one by one and then relate them back to their copyright laws, with Polyvore being your main example?
Hullo!
ReplyDeleteI like the title...
Good intro, but you might be able to make it into a few more sentences. It feels like some good ideas are crammed in there. Good description of what the site does! So...after the first read...I like your descriptions of what every site does and how, in turn, that works for the people who access it. It helped me understand it just a bit more. I liked that you put in parenthesis items that you could reference in order to get more of your ideas across.
I enjoy hearing about this site even though, before this class, I'd never heard of it (though I'd seen the collages in mags). I'm intrigued as to how you will tie in your theory about everyone benefitting through the website into your paper. I think that you'll have a pretty well-rounded essay once those theories are completely explained. Good luck!
Sarabeth (sorry I misspelled your name above), here is my in-depth analysis of your essay:
ReplyDelete-Your main idea is centered around the website Polyvore. So far, it doesn't appear that you have added your claims.
-Once you've added claims, just remember to add evidence.
-Like earlier, I know this is just a rough draft, so when you get around to it, I'm sure you'll incorporate stuff from readings and lectures. The remix culture might be a useful place to start with this, although I'm not 100% positive that it applies. Perhaps social media would be useful too.
-I would suggest defining a multimedia author that is targeted specifically toward your type of multimedia author: namely the creative design authors of Polyvore. This part was a little weak in the beginning, when you mention how multimedia authorship is spreading, yet you don't necessarily say what or who a multimedia author is.
-As I mentioned in my earlier comment, the language is confusing in the Cancer section. I just don't quite get it, sorry.
-As for improving the essay, just work on extending it and adding the theories that you developed in your visual presentation.
Many institutions limit access to their online information. Making this information available will be an asset to all.
ReplyDelete